Building a Rule of Life: An Ancient Practice for a Contemporary Life

We’re all looking for a way to manage time more efficiently these days, but a Rule of Life is more than a life hack, it’s a spiritual discipline that packs a punch. Its fourth century origin story reminds us that no matter where in history we’re born, life catches up with us. There’s always somewhere to be, someone to talk to, something to read or do. It’s very easy to find ourselves in disorder.

A Rule of Life challenges our busy status quo and invites us to recenter ourselves upon truth and goodness. There are several ancient examples. I like to pull from the work of Saint Benedict, a monk from the 400-500s. He crafted a list of “rules” for the brethren hoping to instill healthy rhythms for both individual and communal life in the monastery. The original principles of community, obedience, humility, and contemplation continue to enliven the hearts of those who follow in his footsteps.

Before you read on, this post suggests a few quick tips below to encourage you. If you’d like a bit more guidance in writing your own Rule/Rhythm of Life, I’d love to support your work.

• Consider scheduling a session of spiritual direction
• Visit Substack to watch my video series on this practice
• Download the Rhythm of Life Guide at the link below

A Rule of Life is a monastic practice that helps one identify what matters most and supports the integration of their values with everyday rhythms and relationships.

At first,“rule” might sound too rigid. I tend to think so. While this practice does require discipline, a rule of life is simply a tool to help us avoid “living life on accident,” as a professor used to say. We require blueprints to build almost anything of substance, like a house or business, even a successful grocery run. Why not our lives, too? I often use the term Rhythm of Life as a gentler alternative.

“From the creative point of view, the monastic rule is an instrument for shaping a particular kind of life for which a person has deep and genuine desire.”

Thomas Moore, Preface of The Rule of Saint Benedict

Quick Tips for Writing a Rule of Life

If you’re ready to begin writing a Rhythm of Life for yourself, I’ve included a few tips below. I encourage you to take your time. Use a journal, canvas, or other artistic medium to record your thoughts. Consider using the Examen prayer or breath work as companion practices.

1. Consider your own eulogy

Imagine yourself at the end of your life. What would you like your life to look like at that point? Looking back over the course of your earthly time, what legacy would you like to leave for your loved ones and community? With these hopes in mind, how do you intend to live your life today?

As you consider your life from death’s perspective, what relationships and goals are the most important to you? What long-term, short-term, and daily habits and rhythms support those things?

2. Draw a map of your life

As you list your responses from the previous prompt, what categories do these items fall under? You might begin listing your hopes, desires, and goals within general categories like head, heart, and hands, or body, mind, spirit. These categories may expand to include areas like, vocation, finances, health, relationships, spirituality, pleasure, etc. Name and use them as it makes sense to you in your current phase of life. As you settle on a few categories, sort your goals into the appropriate spots. List established habits, as well as aspirational ones.

3. Use your calendar

As you organize existing habits and hopes in your selected categories, assign a reasonable timeline to each habit and hope. It is common to use a timetable of daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annually activities. You may prefer to use bi-weekly or bi-annually, too. A timeline keeps your Rule measurable and realistic. For fun, you may also incorporate your goals to the liturgical calendar of the church.

There is no task or goal too simple. For example, you may include brushing your teeth twice a day and scheduling bi-annual visits to the dentist. It may be important to you to write down relational goals, whether weekly meet ups with friends or colleagues, opportunities for activism or advocacy, regular date nights, or family activities. You may include things as frequent as meal planning or spiritual disciplines and infrequent as spiritual retreats or vacations. This rule of life is for you, make it thoughtful and meaningful.

4. Have compassion for yourself

Your Rule exists as a tool. Allow it live and evolve alongside of you, not guilt you. As life inevitably changes, your rule will evolve. Perhaps you welcomed a new member of the family, a career change, or your priorities simply shifted. A Rule of Life may be reevaluated at any time. I invite you to experiment with six month increments.

“Like a trellis, a rule of life supports and guides our growth. It supports our friendships with Christ so that we bear the fruit of his character and are able to offer his nourishing life to others.”

Ken Shigematsu, God in my Everything

Your Rule/Rhythm is as unique as you are. You’re likely living outside a monastic order and therefore the particular pattern from which you live your life will not match others’. (There are benefits and challenges to this.) Take courage in knowing your life contains beauty, truth, and goodness. This practice, attended to with patience and creativity, will awaken your senses to God’s love in your life. If you’re curious to see how others’ record this practice through different mediums, find some examples here.

How would your life be different if you thoughtfully replaced patterns of disorder and overwhelm with purposeful patterns of rest, discipline, and nourishment?