Building a Rule of Life: An Ancient Practice for a Contemporary Life
There is always somewhere to be, someone to talk to, something to read or do, especially with the expansive grip the internet and smart phones have in many people’s lives. The amount of information we consume each day can be overwhelming. In the busyness of life it’s very easy to find ourselves in disorder. This is where a Rule of Life comes in.
Since reevaluating my priorities last summer (and some significant changes) I’ve been learning a lot about prioritizing what matters to me. This process has helped me to maintain some semblance of order in my life. Believe me, there are many things we have no control over but it is possible to establish rhythms, even ancient ones, to hold us steady.
A Rule of Life is an ancient practice that helps me identify what matters most and supports the integration of my values with everyday rhythms and relationships. Saint Benedict crafted a rule for monastic life hoping to instill healthy habits for both individual and communal life. Many of his principles seemed radical but his work continues to encourage community, obedience, humility, and contemplation.
At first,“rule” might sound too rigid. I tend to think so. While this practice does require discipline, a rule of life is simply a tool to help us avoid “living life on accident,” as a professor used to say. We require blueprints to build almost anything of substance, like a house or business, even a successful grocery run. Why not our lives, too? I often use the term Rhythm of Life as a gentler alternative.
“From the creative point of view, the monastic rule is an instrument for shaping a particular kind of life for which a person has deep and genuine desire.”
Thomas Moore, Preface of The Rule of Saint Benedict
Tips for Writing a Rule of Life
If you’re ready to begin writing a Rhythm of Life for yourself, I’ve included a few tips below. I encourage you to take your time. Use a journal, canvas, or other artistic medium to record your thoughts. Consider using the Examen prayer or breath work as companion practices.
Consider your own eulogy
Imagine yourself at the end of your life. What would you like your life to look like at that point? Looking back over the course of your earthly time, what legacy would you like to leave for your loved ones and community? With these hopes in mind, how do you intend to live your life today?
As you consider your life from death’s perspective, what relationships and goals are the most important to you? What long-term, short-term, and daily habits and rhythms support those things?
Draw a map of your life
As you list your responses from the previous prompt, what categories do these items fall under? You might begin listing your hopes, desires, and goals within general categories like head, heart, and hands, or body, mind, spirit. These categories may expand to include areas like, vocation, finances, health, relationships, spirituality, pleasure, etc. Name and use them as it makes sense to you in your current phase of life. As you settle on a few categories, sort your goals into the appropriate spots. List established habits, as well as aspirational ones.
Use your calendar
As you organize existing habits and hopes in your selected categories, assign a reasonable timeline to each habit and hope. It is common to use a timetable of daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annually activities. You may prefer to use bi-weekly or bi-annually, too. A timeline keeps your Rule measurable and realistic. For fun, you may also incorporate your goals to the liturgical calendar of the church.
There is no task or goal too simple. For example, you may include brushing your teeth twice a day and scheduling bi-annual visits to the dentist. It may be important to you to write down relational goals, whether weekly meet ups with friends or colleagues, opportunities for activism or advocacy, regular date nights, or family activities. You may include things as frequent as meal planning or spiritual disciplines and infrequent as spiritual retreats or vacations. This rule of life is for you, make it thoughtful and meaningful.
Are you curious how other folks write, draw, or create their Rule of Life? Find some examples here.
Have compassion for yourself
Your Rule exists as a tool. Allow it live and evolve alongside of you, not guilt you. As life inevitably changes, your rule will evolve. Perhaps you welcomed a new member of the family, a career change, or your priorities simply shifted. A Rule of Life may be reevaluated at any time. I invite you to experiment with six month increments.
“Like a trellis, a rule of life supports and guides our growth. It supports our friendships with Christ so that we bear the fruit of his character and are able to offer his nourishing life to others.”
Ken Shigematsu, God in my Everything
If this ancient practice seems intimidating, don’t toss it out the window yet. Everyone has a Rule of Life, whether consciously or unconsciously created. Our habits and thought patterns structure our days, which too easily become years and decades of our lives. How would your life be different if you thoughtfully replaced patterns of disorder and overwhelm with purposeful patterns of rest, discipline, and nourishment?
“You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”
Psalm 16:11
