How to Prepare for Spiritual Direction

If you’ve just booked your first session, you might be wondering how to prepare for spiritual direction. While individual companions may have a particular approach that requires unique preparation, like gardening or painting, I’ve gathered here a handful of universal points that may help you feel more prepared for your scheduled time.

From my own experience as a directee, and now as a spiritual director, here are four ways one can prepare for spiritual direction: self-reflection, grace, setting aside an intentional space, and noticing what comes up. These are applicable for those new to spiritual direction, as well as those with long-established relationships with their companions. They need not be completed in any specific order and may be repeated between sessions.

Prompts for Self-Reflection

There are countless reasons why folks seek out spiritual direction. As you prepare to meet with your spiritual director, it’s helpful to identify your particular why.

Many times directees initiate spiritual direction while experiencing chronic illness, spiritual isolation, changes in vocation, family life, or their faith community, religious trauma, burnout or grief. Others are in liminal seasons where they need to make a choice or want to grow deeper in their relationship with God. Whatever your reason(s) may be, the following prompts can help you identify where you’d like to start.

• What questions or desires do you have for God?
• What words describe your inner life right now?
• What difficulties or joys exist in your faith?
• What decision or invitation do you sense in front of you?

Offer Yourself Grace

I often hear directees apologize for (in their words) rambling, not making sense, or getting emotional. I always, always reassure them they do not need to apologize. The spiritual journey is not linear and comes with many twists and turns. The only agenda for spiritual direction is to listen. There is no need to articulate the realities of the inner life perfectly. There is no need to hold back the emotions present in your body. There is no need to compete or produce. Together, in grace, we listen for the voice of Love in your life.

Set an Intentional Space

As you prepare for spiritual direction, whether in-person or virtually, it is important to dedicate each session as space to listen. A prepared mind and physical space can help you listen to the Spirit.

What supports your ability to listen will differ from others. I’ve noticed some of the physical distractions are expressions of an occupied mind. Setting up the right environment can alleviate some of the mental noise inside. For example, you may feel most comfortable outdoors while walking with your spiritual companion. Others may listen best with a soft place to sit or by removing their watch.

If you are meeting with your spiritual director in-person:

• Depending on the director’s space, choose a spot to sit where you’re comfortable. Leaning back on a cushion or placing a blanket over your lap can be helpful.
• Consider what distractions can be paused or eliminated during your session such as notifications on your phone or smart watch, unnecessary electronics, paperwork, and other people. This is a time solely dedicated to you!
• If you have a meaningful object, such as prayer beads, a journal, or something similar that reminds you of God’s presence — bring it!

If you are preparing for a virtual session, it is important to treat the time as you would when you visit a practitioner in person:

• Position yourself somewhere comfortable where you can be easily seen on the video. While it’s completely acceptable to stand or sit (or move between the two) it can be a distraction if you move between rooms.
• Bring any meaningful objects into your intentional space: a journal, a photo of someone you love, an icon, flowers, etc.
• Silence your phone, smart watch, other electronics, and any other potential distractions on your computer. (Ensure your internet connection, audio and video is working properly, too.)
• Pause all other responsibilities for that hour. Set aside unrelated paperwork or emails, text messages, other conversations, etc.
• 1:1 spiritual direction is typically a private conversation between a directee and director. If children or pets are present in the home, ensure they are appropriately occupied or cared for during the session. (Depending on the pet’s disposition, some can be sources of great comfort during spiritual direction.)

Notice Your Response

In between spiritual direction sessions, notice the responses that rise up in you. These responses can help guide following sessions. With a journal or a sticky note, consider the themes that came up.

• After your session ended, what are you still hearing or sensing?
• After 3+ sessions, do you notice any patterns emerging?
• What experiences during the month edify or degrade your time in spiritual direction?

How do you prepare for spiritual direction?

As you prepare for your upcoming session, be sure to stay true to yourself. If you have questions or feedback about your session, communicate with your spiritual companion. As a spiritual director, I’m always eager to hear how I can support directees during a session.

As always, I’m curious — what helps you prepare for spiritual direction or a time of reflection?