Prey Tell: A Necessary Book on Finding Our Voices
Tiffany Bluhm’s book, Prey Tell: Why We Silence Women Who Tell the Truth and How Everyone Can Speak Up, offers valuable research and scriptural wisdom as Bluhm addresses the silence surrounding the abuse of women in society and the church.
(This book may be triggering to survivors of abuse, harassment, or assault. If you choose to read this book, I encourage you to take it at your own pace. This might be a good book to read with a trusted friend!)
One of the most valuable aspects of this book is how Bluhm emphasizes just how subtle abuse, manipulation, and sexism can be. This cannot be overstated, and she provides solid research and plenty of examples of narcissism, misogyny, benevolent sexism, patriarchy, victim blaming, and more. The subtly can be confusing, for victims and bystanders alike. Bluhm encourages truth-telling, advocacy, and justice for the sake of the vulnerable.
“While it’s easy to side with the perpetrator, who asks nothing of us but silence, it is altogether more demanding to listen to the truth from the mouths of the abused and allow belief to move us to action.”
— Tiffany Bluhm, Prey Tell
Bluhm reinforces over and over how important, unpopular, and costly telling the truth can be. Amongst her research, she weaves in relevant scriptures with the goal of reminding the church of their responsibility to take action. In chapter nine, Bluhm offers the example of the prophet Nathan holding King David accountable for his actions against Bathsheba. She writes, “Today it’s the modern-day Nathans who bravely speak truth to power, not to usurp leadership but to bring correction and healing.”
“To right the cultural wrong of silencing women, we must be ready to listen to whatever a woman might confide in us. It could be far outside the lines of what we believe is acceptable, and our trite comebacks, our disapproving nods, and our willingness to write her off as “needy” are far from helpful… If she has been harmed, silenced, and taken advantage of, so have we. If we want her to speak up, we must go first.”
— Tiffany Bluhm, Prey Tell
Bluhm frames Prey Tell within her own experiences of abuse, but doesn’t give readers the inside look at the details. I deeply respect this. Perhaps others may be curious to know more, but I believe it speaks to the reality behind this book: this is not only her story, this is all too often the story of women worldwide.
“At the same time, many women, myself included, have felt trapped in an honor culture that heralds loyalty as the supreme manifestation of holiness. It may feel like a fruitless effort to report misconduct, but it doesn’t negate our obligation to bring to light indiscretions as a follower charged with exposing worthless deeds (Ephesians 5:11). We fail the people in our world when we choose silence, never opting to raise a fuss.”
— Tiffany Bluhm, Prey Tell
As I read this book I was mindful of the exclusive emphasis on female survivors of harassment, abuse, and assault. The data is clear that women are overwhelmingly the victims of these forms of violence around the world, but boys, men, and LGBTQ+ folks can also be victims. It is important to remember this as we address systemic abuse, reform our practices, and listen to survivors.
In a similar way, the research Bluhm presents is spot on, but it only scratches the surface. This book covers a lot of ground and often goes wide rather than deep. I strongly encourage readers to mark the studies or stories they found striking and go back to dig deeper.
I recommend this book to anyone who’s wondered if they should say something. Whether you’re in the clergy, corporate world, or in college — this book is a necessary push to repair broken systems and to use our voices to facilitate healing.
What did Prey Tell mean to you?
In the spirit of listening to the stories of others, I asked another reader what Prey Tell meant to them. Here’s what they shared with me:
“A call to break the silence and change the status quo for women everywhere. Prey Tell limns the oppression and silencing of women from Tamar, daughter of King David and Maacah, to Christine Blasey Ford, professor of psychology and research psychologist in California.
Faux egalitarianism isn’t enough anymore, but it’s as Tiffany Bluhm says: “Gendered oppression will continue so long as women are the ones tasked with solving the issue, when in reality, this issue exists in large part due to abuse of power rooted in toxic masculinity, not weak femininity.”
This is a compelling and well-researched book that I hope will light a fire for justice in every reader.
— Tyra Nicole, Wander With Tyra
“Prior to reading Prey Tell, I was blinded to the manipulation and abuse of power by men towards women. I honestly just thought that’s how it was. That it was my job as a woman to make my appearance more or less appealing based on what men above me needed. That it was my job to laugh off inappropriate comments and pretend that I was flattered. I thought that anything outside of physical contact that offended me was me was me being uptight, a prude. After all, it was because of my appearance that caused them to make such comments. And therefore, those perspectives ingrained in me kept me silent in the face of others’ being treated inappropriately.
No. More.
Women, be empowered to speak up! Men, be challenged to do better in places of power! All peoples, be allies for the broken, the silenced, and the mistreated.”
— Liz Danger Yielding
Prey Tell by Tiffany Bluhm releases on March 16th, 2021. I was not paid or compensated for this review; all views are my own.
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